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Turbo busted? Repair bill higher than a new replacement? Chicks starting to dry up when they leave the car and enter your house? Get with it son. Boom. Difficulty = 1 Where 10 is jumping off a building, and 0 is hitting the ground. Time Required = 40 minutes Stripping the turbo takes all of 5 minutes, but cutting the base and degreasing the compressor housing will take longer. Tools Required 8/10/12/13/14mm spanner Vice Grips or a bench vice Sheet of MDF Electric jigsaw Black paint Felt or suede fabric Razor knife Spray adhesive Usage Put the heavy thing on top of light things so they don't do something they shoudn't. This includes, but is not limited to: Paper (believed to work) Cockroaches (absolutely works) Drug money (no doubt it will work) Intruders (like a boss) Process Step 1. Remove the 6 bolts (or whatever) on the back of the compressor housing. Step 2. Remove the compressor housing. Step 3. Remove any bugs that aren't required. Step 4. Remove the 4 bolts on the turbine housing and knock it apart with a mallet. Remove the compressor wheel using an 8mm spanner (twist right = loose). Step 5. Confirm that the turbo is in fact f**ked. Yep, it's f**ked. Step 6. Degrease the alloy and sand the gasket faces smooth, along with any lettering. If not making a base, file the outlet flange smooth. Step 7. Cut some alloy bar to bolt to the compressor wheel. If you don't plan to make a base, then drill holes to bolt it to the compressor housing. Step 8. Trace the shape of the base onto MDF, then cut to size. Drill some holes in the lip of the compressor housing and screw in place using counter-sunk screws. Glue some felt or suede onto the back for a professional and scratch-free finish. Step 9. Bask in the hektikness of your newfound desk ornament. Playing COD online will no longer be a turnoff for your significant other.